When I started my master’s program, I thought I was signing up to learn more about leadership and systems. I didn’t expect to learn so much about myself.

As a female engineer, I learned early on to keep emotions out of the equation. Logic, data, and facts were welcome in the room. But emotions were not. Anger could show up sometimes because it was seen as drive, intensity, or passion. But sadness, disappointment, or vulnerability had no place at work.

So, I built walls. I got really good at keeping them up. I had even convinced myself I was patient. I was just really good at suppressing my impatience.

During my first semester, I began learning about emotional intelligence. It was eye-opening to realize how much I had trained myself to shut parts of me off just to fit in. Those same walls that once protected me were also keeping me from connecting more deeply with others, from building trust, and from leading with empathy.

I am still learning how to lower those walls. It is uncomfortable at times, but also freeing. Emotions are not a weakness. They are information. And learning to understand and express them has become one of the strongest leadership tools I have found.

Emotional intelligence is the backbone of this master’s program, and once again, it is embedded in the lectures I am watching today as a quiet reminder not to rebuild those walls.

Photo from Leavenworth Creek Trail at the top of Mt. McClellan. My husband was backing up in a very tight spot at the top of the mountain, and I got out of the Jeep to take the picture.